One of the most common things candidates say to me is, “I’m not unhappy, I’m just tired.”
They usually say it carefully, almost defensively, as if they are trying to justify why they have even agreed to speak to a recruiter. They are not angry. They are not desperate to leave. They are not in crisis. They just feel worn down.
Most of the time, they like their firm. They get on with the people. They enjoy the work, or at least they used to. On paper, nothing is wrong.
But over the last six months or so, the pressure has crept up. Working through lunch has become normal. Logging back on in the evening feels expected rather than optional. Support that used to be there has quietly disappeared. They are carrying more responsibility, more admin, and more expectation, without anything else changing to balance it out.
There has been no big incident. No row with a partner. No dramatic turning point. It has been gradual. That is why it is so hard to articulate.
This is usually the point where people start thinking about the market. Not job hunting, not sending CVs, just thinking. They are trying to work out whether this is a phase, whether it gets easier, or whether this is simply how things are going to be from now on.
A lot of lawyers believe they should only speak to someone once they are actively unhappy. They think having a conversation too early somehow makes them disloyal or dramatic. In reality, the opposite is true.
The most useful conversations happen before people are burnt out. When they still have perspective. When they can think clearly about what they want and what they are prepared to tolerate.
Sometimes those conversations confirm that staying put makes sense. Sometimes they highlight that things are unlikely to change. Either way, having perspective is better than sitting quietly and hoping things improve on their own.
